Who says we don't exercise?

We 'Jump' to conclusions, We 'Throw' our weight around,  We 'Twist' the truth, We 'Stretch' the lies, We 'Bend' the rules, We 'Push' our luck, We 'Lift' our egos, We 'Run' from tough situations.  

We are absolutely fit, But still, we're fat because we eat our words so often...

She texted me, "I think I've gained weight. Do you think I am fat and look like a cow?

I wanted to type 'Noooooooooo' but the damn Auto correct changed it to 'Mooooooooooo'.

Sigh ..  .. .. .. 

Single again !

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a little Gorkha selling regimental ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Gorkha replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only 150 Rs."

The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

"OK," said the gorkha, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than you. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Officers Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need.."

Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back towards the gorkha, collapsed with dehydration and rasped..... "They won't let me in without a bloody tie!"

😜😜

Absolute Classic!!!

A couple decided to commit suicide. After a rough life, they decided to jump off of a building. When they got to the top, they both counted to three. The man jumped, but the woman stayed. She watched him drop for about 8 seconds and then saw a parachute open. 

Now the question is .......

Who cheated whom😨😨😂😂

Some beautiful answers and way of thinking of Turkish poet Jalaluddin Rumi

🌸💐🌺🌼

What Is Poison ? ? ?

He Replied With A Beautiful Answer - AnyThing Which Is More Than Our Necessity Is Poison. It May Be Power, Wealth, Hunger, Ego, Greed, Laziness, Love, Ambition, Hate Or AnyThing.

What Is Fear ? ? ?

Non Acceptance Of Uncertainty.

If We Accept That Uncertainty, It Becomes Adventure.

What Is Envy ?

Non Acceptance Of Good In Others, If We Accept That Good, It Becomes Inspiration.

What Is Anger ? ? ?

Non Acceptance Of Things Which Are Beyond Our Control.

If We Accept, It Becomes Tolerance.

What Is Hatred ? ? ?

Non Acceptance Of Person As He Is. If We Accept Person Unconditionally, It Becomes Love. 😊 😊

I asked my friend's son what he wanted to be when he grows up. He said he wanted to be Prime Minister some day.

Both of his parents, liberal leftists, were standing there, so I asked him, 'If you were Prime Minister, what would be the first thing you would do?'

He replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' His parents beamed with pride.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told him. 'But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you Rs.500. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the same 500 rupee note for food and new set of clothes .'

He thought that over for a few seconds, then he looked me straight in the eyes and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him Rs.500?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Rightist fold.'

His parents still aren't speaking to me.

😂

WHY DIGNITY IS NOT NEGOTIABLE

One morning at our Law College, when our new teacher to "Introduction to the Rights" entered the classroom, the first thing that he did was to ask the name of a student who was seated on the first bench: "What is your name?"

"My name is Juan, Sir."

"Leave the classroom and I don't want to ever see you in my class ever!" screamed the unpleasant teacher.

Juan was bewildered. When he got hold of his senses, he got up quickly, collected his belongings and left the classroom.

All were scared and angry; however nobody spoke anything.

"Well...." said the new teacher, "whom do the enacted Laws serve?"

We were afraid, but slowly gained confidence and we began to answer his questions.

"So that there is an order in our society."

"No!" The teacher answered

"To accomplish them."

"No!"

"So that the wrong people pay for their actions?"

"No! Is it that nobody knows to answer this question?!"

"So that there is justice," said a girl timidly.

"At last! That's it.... so that there is justice. And now, what is the use of justice?"

All began to feel uneasy by such rude attitude. However, we followed answering....

"To safeguard the human rights...."

"Well, what more?" asked the teacher.

"To differentiate the right from the wrong.... to reward the good...."

"Ok, that is not bad; however... answer this question: Did I act correctly when expelling Juan from the classroom?"

All were quiet, nobody answered.

"I want a decisive and unanimous answer!"

"No!" we all replied in unison.

"Could you all say I committed injustice?"

"Yes!"

"And why did nobody do anything in that respect? So why do we need Rules and Laws if we don't have the necessary will to practice them? Each one of you has the obligation of when you witness an injustice. All of you! Do not stay quiet, never again! Go and call Juan," he said staring at me.

On that day, I received the most practical lesson in my course of Law.

When we don't defend our Rights, we lose our Dignity, and Dignity is not negotiable.

Donald Trump chose Mickey Pence as his vice-president. 

Did anyone else realize that Mickey and Donald will run America from now on?

Walt Disney also could not have imagined this 😜

In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Doctor: "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;

(a) a  teaspoon 

(b) a glass 

(c) a bucket

and ask them to empty the bathtub."

Journalist: "Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger."

Doctor: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39. 

We will start further investigations on you too!"

........................................

😀😀 You also thought of the bucket, didn't you? Please go to bed No. 40.

The hospital has a few more rooms available. 

Please forward this so that we can check if you have friends or relatives who need a 'mental' check up.

This is a friendly reminder about drinking and driving during the New Year season.

One of my friends went out last night and after drinking he made a sensible decision to leave his car at the pub and took the bus home. He was really proud of himself this morning..!!

He had never driven a bus before!! 😂😂😂

Winner of the Chicago Tribune's best Tweet of the week... 

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... but apparently it just changes the color of the baby !!!"

Superb Story. 

A little boy went to his old grandpa and asked, "What's the value of life?"

The grandpa gave him one stone and said, "Find out the value of this stone, but don't sell it."

The boy took the stone to an Orange Seller and asked him what its cost would be.

The Orange Seller saw the shiny stone and said, "You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone."

The boy apologized and said that the grandpa has asked him not to sell it.

He went ahead and found a vegetable seller.

"What could be the value of this stone?" he asked the vegetable seller.

The seller saw the shiny stone and said, "Take one sack of potatoes and give me the stone."

The boy again apologized and said he can't sell it.

Further ahead, he went into a jewellery shop and asked the value of the stone.

The jeweler saw the stone under a lens and said, "I'll give you 1 million for this stone." 

When the boy shook his head, the jeweler said, "Alright, alright, take 2 24karat gold necklaces, but give me the stone."

The boy explained that he can't sell the stone.

Further ahead, the boy saw a precious stone's shop and asked the seller the value of this stone.

When the precious stone's seller saw the big ruby, he lay down a red cloth and put the ruby on it.

Then he walked in circles around the ruby and bent down and touched his head in front of the ruby. "From where did you bring this priceless ruby from?" he asked.

"Even if I sell the whole world, and my life, I won't

be able to purchase this priceless stone."

Stunned and confused, the boy returned to the grandpa and told him what had happened. 

"Now tell me what is the value of life, grandpa?"

Grandpa said, 

"The answers you got from the Orange Seller, the Vegetable Seller, the Jeweler & the Precious Stone's Seller explain the value of our life...

You may be a precious stone, even priceless, but, people will value you based on their status, their charecter, their level of information, their belief in you, their motive behind entertaining you, their ambition, and their risk taking ability. 

But don't fear, you will surely find someone who will discern your true value."

Respect yourself.

Don't sell yourself cheap.

You are Unique.

No one can Replace you.

Value the value...

Good Life 💐💐💐

I hate people who can't hold their drinks!! Last night my friends dropped me 4 times while carrying me home 😜😜

"There are all kinds of futures. There is a hoped-for future, there is a feared future, there is a predictable future, and there is an unimagined future."-werner.

Life is great if lived as a  discovery- moment by moment - than  living it from our domain of knowledge and past experience. 

See,listen to ,feel and experience - things and relationships with people ,from now, in a way that you have never ever interacted  before - the sheer power of discovery !

Consider trying it and experience  the miracle of living life !

Time has no holiday.. Dreams have no expiry date.. And life has no pause button...! 

Live it..  Love it.. 

Enjoy each and every moment of your life....!! 

Save only those memories which gives twinkle in your eyes... Not wrinkles on your face...!!