In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Doctor: "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;

(a) a  teaspoon 

(b) a glass 

(c) a bucket

and ask them to empty the bathtub."

Journalist: "Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger."

Doctor: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39. 

We will start further investigations on you too!"

........................................

😀😀 You also thought of the bucket, didn't you? Please go to bed No. 40.

The hospital has a few more rooms available. 

Please forward this so that we can check if you have friends or relatives who need a 'mental' check up.

This is a friendly reminder about drinking and driving during the New Year season.

One of my friends went out last night and after drinking he made a sensible decision to leave his car at the pub and took the bus home. He was really proud of himself this morning..!!

He had never driven a bus before!! 😂😂😂

Winner of the Chicago Tribune's best Tweet of the week... 

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... but apparently it just changes the color of the baby !!!"

Superb Story. 

A little boy went to his old grandpa and asked, "What's the value of life?"

The grandpa gave him one stone and said, "Find out the value of this stone, but don't sell it."

The boy took the stone to an Orange Seller and asked him what its cost would be.

The Orange Seller saw the shiny stone and said, "You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone."

The boy apologized and said that the grandpa has asked him not to sell it.

He went ahead and found a vegetable seller.

"What could be the value of this stone?" he asked the vegetable seller.

The seller saw the shiny stone and said, "Take one sack of potatoes and give me the stone."

The boy again apologized and said he can't sell it.

Further ahead, he went into a jewellery shop and asked the value of the stone.

The jeweler saw the stone under a lens and said, "I'll give you 1 million for this stone." 

When the boy shook his head, the jeweler said, "Alright, alright, take 2 24karat gold necklaces, but give me the stone."

The boy explained that he can't sell the stone.

Further ahead, the boy saw a precious stone's shop and asked the seller the value of this stone.

When the precious stone's seller saw the big ruby, he lay down a red cloth and put the ruby on it.

Then he walked in circles around the ruby and bent down and touched his head in front of the ruby. "From where did you bring this priceless ruby from?" he asked.

"Even if I sell the whole world, and my life, I won't

be able to purchase this priceless stone."

Stunned and confused, the boy returned to the grandpa and told him what had happened. 

"Now tell me what is the value of life, grandpa?"

Grandpa said, 

"The answers you got from the Orange Seller, the Vegetable Seller, the Jeweler & the Precious Stone's Seller explain the value of our life...

You may be a precious stone, even priceless, but, people will value you based on their status, their charecter, their level of information, their belief in you, their motive behind entertaining you, their ambition, and their risk taking ability. 

But don't fear, you will surely find someone who will discern your true value."

Respect yourself.

Don't sell yourself cheap.

You are Unique.

No one can Replace you.

Value the value...

Good Life 💐💐💐

I hate people who can't hold their drinks!! Last night my friends dropped me 4 times while carrying me home 😜😜

"There are all kinds of futures. There is a hoped-for future, there is a feared future, there is a predictable future, and there is an unimagined future."-werner.

Life is great if lived as a  discovery- moment by moment - than  living it from our domain of knowledge and past experience. 

See,listen to ,feel and experience - things and relationships with people ,from now, in a way that you have never ever interacted  before - the sheer power of discovery !

Consider trying it and experience  the miracle of living life !

Time has no holiday.. Dreams have no expiry date.. And life has no pause button...! 

Live it..  Love it.. 

Enjoy each and every moment of your life....!! 

Save only those memories which gives twinkle in your eyes... Not wrinkles on your face...!! 

Freedom in Not Being Attached

The roots of attachment run deep, and it's all about survival. As young ones, we need to attach to the people around us to get our needs met. Then we get attached to love, success, attention from others, material objects, security. We're held hostage by these needs.

Being attached is bound to cause suffering. Because no matter how hard we try, all forms are created with an expiration date. All forms are temporary, and they will go. And to state the obvious, no one has made it out of here alive.

We start by being attached to survival, to those who make our survival possible, and it continues from there. We experience a great comfort with the known and the familiar and begin to fear letting go into what we cannot know or control.

Investigating our attachments opens the path to a life that is authentic and real. If we bring our fears out of the shadows with a willingness to befriend them, if we contemplate the dissolution of everything we know, the heart can't help but sing a song of gratitude. Everything could go, but reality remains – this moment – fresh, alive, and overflowing.

-Gail Brenner

LAWS THAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN AT SCHOOL 

1) Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

2) Anthony's Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3) Kovac's Conundrum:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

4) Cannon's Karmic Law:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, and the very next morning you will get a flat tyre.

5) O'brien's Variation Law:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6) BELL'S THEOREM:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7) RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8) WILLOUGHBY'S LAW:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9) ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10) BREDA'S RULE:

At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

11) OWEN'S LAW:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Thanks

😃Thanks to those who hated me, they made me a stronger person.

😃Thanks to those who loved me, they made my heart bigger.

😃Thanks to those who were worried about me, they let me know that they actually cared.

😃Thanks to those who left me, they made me realize that nothing lasts forever.

😃Thanks to those who entered my life, they made me who i'm today.

Just want to Thank you all for being there in my life!! 😄

I just discovered my age group!  I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) 

 

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later. 

 

I don't have to go to school. 

 

I get an allowance every month. 

 

I have my own pad. 

 

I don't have a curfew. 

 

I have a driver's license and my own car. 

 

I have ID that gets me into everywhere. 

 

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren't scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long, why be scared? 

 

And I don't have acne. 

 

Life is Good!  Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.

Exercising, avoiding alcohol and  cutting down on non-veg food will certainly add some years to your life. 

But remember, it is your old age that will get extended, not the youth..

Truly inspiring :

In life I have forgotten how many times I have fallen. 

How many times I have hurt myself. 

The entire world laughed at me.

But I never gave up. 

I have always picked myself up, dusted myself and walked upto the waiter and said,

"Another large please !"

😜

Meaning of a " true friend "

This year, like me, a lot of my school,college and university mates turned 50 the half way mark in their lives n in a way hoping they live reasonably long life i wished them " happy half century ".it also set me thinking.. who out of all these people that I met along the way would remain alongside... n would define the true meaning of friendship...

The age old saying "a friend in need is a friend in deed" does it define? or is it when we categorize people just as the" tree test" i read somewhere on this group? Is it the person who is at your bedside when you are extremely sick or is it the person who offers help when you are going through a rough patch..

In my search for an answer to my dilemma.. i thought of moments or occassions when true friendship could be  defined.. when you travel with a person? when any matter relating to money comes up between you two,when a person appears on a happy occasion or a sad one, whether he is a person who mingles with your family or the one who does not etc. the list goes on..n some answers started cropping up in my mind which i would like to share with you all

A friend is not a person who is at your bedside when you are ill...but a person who senses that you are going to fall ill and prevents it.

A friend is not a person who will offer you money when you are broke but will sense that you are n will put money where you can find it without telling you.

A friend is a person who will not try to look for beauty in your face or body but that in your soul(heart and mind)

A friend is not a person who will get you a job when you are without one but a person who will find you a career 

Again the list goes on...and through this in the end i found one definition which may be true and sums up it all

A friend doesn't care for what you are,who you are,why you are,where you are, when you are, whether you are but a person who accepts you " just the way you are"

Means " never puts you through judgement "

But the irony is to find such a person one still needs to judge the other...

Julie Andrews Turning  79 - this is hysterical!   

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.  One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'.  Here are the lyrics she used: 

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting, 

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, 

Bundles of magazines tied up in string, 

  These are a few of my favorite things. 

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, 

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, 

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, 

  These are a few of my favorite things. 

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, 

When the knees go bad, 

I simply remember my favorite things, 

     And then I don't feel so bad. 

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, 

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, 

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, 

    These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin', 

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',   

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, 

  When we remember our favorite things. 

When the joints ache, When the hips break, 

     When the eyes grow dim, 

Then I remember the great life I've had, 

      And then I don't feel so bad. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>

(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd 

that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please 

share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humor with others who 

would appreciate it.)

*CASE STUDY*

A woman was driving an old Volvo car when she mistakenly hit a 2016 Range Rover.

The lady came out from her Range Rover insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her Range Rover.

The woman with the Volvo called her husband, he replied that he was busy, that she should try fix up things and that they will meet later at home.

The lady with the Range Rover called her boyfriend and said "sweetheart someone just hit the birthday gift you gave me, I am so angry, pls come over.

Few minutes later her boyfriend arrived.

Guess what? He is the husband to the lady with the Volvo car.

*Discuss the possible short term and long term outcomes.* (20Marks)

For our wordsmith... A brilliantly written piece...

So Funny, This Human Anatomy

Where can a man buy a cap for his knee,

Or the key to a lock of his hair?

Can his eyes be called an academy?

Because there are pupils there?   

 

In the crown of your head can jewels be found?

Who crosses the bridge of your nose?

If you wanted to shingle the roof of your mouth,

Would you use the nails on your toes?

 

Can you sit in the shade of the palm of your hand,

Or beat on the drum of your ear?

Can the calf in your leg eat the corn off your toe?

Then why not grow corn on the ear?   

 

Can the crook in your elbow be sent to jail?

If so, just what did he do?

How can you sharpen your shoulder blades?

For English language lovers

WHAT IS VALENTINE'S DAY?                                  

🌹🌹

If you marry the right lady, everyday is Valentine's Day. Marry the wrong lady, everyday is Martyrs Day. Marry a lazy lady, everyday is Labour Day. Marry a rich lady, everyday is New Year's Day .You marry a childish lady, everyday would seem like Children's Day. Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool's Day. Don't get married, everyday is Independance Day💃💃

Some beautiful answers and way of thinking of Turkish poet Rumi

What Is Poison ? ? ?

He Replied With A Beautiful Answer - AnyThing Which Is More Than Our Necessity Is Poison. It May Be Power, Wealth, Hunger, Ego, Greed, Laziness, Love, Ambition, Hate Or AnyThing.

What Is Fear ? ? ?

Non Acceptance Of Uncertainty.

If We Accept That Uncertainty, It Becomes Adventure.

What Is Envy ?

Non Acceptance Of Good In Others, If We Accept That Good, It Becomes Inspiration.

What Is Anger ? ? ?

Non Acceptance Of Things Which Are Beyond Our Control.

If We Accept, It Becomes Tolerance.

What Is Hatred ? ? ?

Non Acceptance Of Person As He Is. If We Accept Person Unconditionally, It Becomes Love. 😊

The privilege of Drinking with Friends is that, we can talk nonsense all the time..

And  the best thing is-

 *Nonsense is Understood, Discussed & Respected.*

🍻🍷🍾🍹🍷🍺

🎈

                 Love This One!

A Chinese moves to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a home on a small piece of land. 

The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. 

He goes next door 

but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.

Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', 

he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese urinate into a glass and then drink it. 

Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', 

he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the China-man leading a bull down the drive-way .....pause...... and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the China-man and says, 'Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. 

The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.'

The China man is very taken back and says, 'Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs, I doing, 

these American Customs.'

'What do you mean' says the neighbor, 'Those aren't American customs.'

          _You will love this_

'Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me' replied the China-man. 

'He say to become true American, I must learn to

..... chase chicks,

..... get piss drunk, 

and

..... listen to bull-shit!'

😂

🎈

                 Love This One!

A Chinese moves to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a home on a small piece of land. 

The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. 

He goes next door 

but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.

Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', 

he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese urinate into a glass and then drink it. 

Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', 

he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the China-man leading a bull down the drive-way .....pause...... and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the China-man and says, 'Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. 

The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.'

The China man is very taken back and says, 'Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs, I doing, 

these American Customs.'

'What do you mean' says the neighbor, 'Those aren't American customs.'

          _You will love this_

'Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me' replied the China-man. 

'He say to become true American, I must learn to

..... chase chicks,

..... get piss drunk, 

and

..... listen to bull-shit!'

😂

I want this back. It DOES work. So, I am told 😉

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

 There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. 

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.  

'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.' 

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. 

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked. 

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.   

'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did. 

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St Mary's Hospital Medical School inLondon, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted

Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin. 

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin. 

 The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill ... His son's name?

 Sir Winston Churchill 

Someone once said: 

What goes around comes around. 

Work like you don't need the money. 

Love like you've never been hurt. 

Dance like nobody's watching. 

Sing like nobody's listening. 

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

It's National Friendship Week. Send this to everyone you consider A FRIEND.

Pass this on and brighten some ones day.

 AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH:

I hope it works...

May there always be work for your hands to do;  

May your purse always hold a coin or two; 

May the sun always shine on your windowpane; 

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain; 

May the hand of a friend always be near you; 

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you. 

And may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead..

Enjoy Pinching......😉

A question asked in a talent test:

If you are married to one of the twin sisters who look identical, how would you recognise your wife?

The award-winning answer was!

"Just pinch either of them. if she screams at you, she is your wife. If she smiles then sister-in-law!"

😀😀😀

Who says we don't exercise? We JUMP to conclusion, we THROW our weight around,we TWIST the truth,we STRETCH lies,we BEND rules, we PUSH  our luck, we LIFT our ego, we RUN from tough situation, we are absolutely FIT ,but still we FAT because, we EAT our word so often ... ☺ 

A couple had 7 children. Someone asked them how different was it to raise the first child from the last child. 

The couple replied, "If the first child as much as even hiccuped, we would call an ambulance. By the time we had the seventh, if a child swallowed a coin, it would be deducted from his pocket money."

😅😅😅🤔🤔😂😂😂

*10 feet behind spouses*

Barbara Walters was doing a story on gender roles in Afghanistan

She noted that women customarily walked 10 feet behind their husbands

Impressed she approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvellous! What a nice gesture of respect to a husband. Is there any specific reason to this custom?"

The lady whispered, "Land Mines"

😂

Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water.

As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly.

The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out.

The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature.

Very soon the frog dies.

What killed the frog?

Think about it!

I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.

We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.

If we allow people to exploit us

physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.

Let us decide when to jump!

Let's jump while we still have the strength.

My Dear friends

If your spouse gets on your nerves ......

Boil water

Let it boil, boil, boil, and boil.

As the water is still boiling.. wait for your spouse to fall asleep.

When you are very sure that spouse is sleeping.. 

make some tea and drink it.

Tea reduces stress.

For those who expected hot water to be poured on the spouse, you need serious help! 😝😬😂

Silvio, an 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. 

The doctor is amazed at the shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

'I'm Italian and I am a Cyclist ....' says Silvio, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out Cycling up and down the highways. I have a glass of vino and all is well.'

'Well....' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?'

'Who said my Father's dead?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?'

'He's 102 years old,' says Silvio. 'he Cycled with me this morning,  went to the beach for a walk, had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. 

 Italian ....... Cyclist......

'Well....' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'

'Who said my Nonno's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living? Incredible!! How old is he?'

'He's 123 years old,' says the Old Italian Cyclist.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went Cycling with you this morning too?'

'No, Nonno couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'

At this point, the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married? Why would a 123 year- old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to get married.... He had to !!!!!!!

......THE GIRL GOT PREGNANT!!'

_Never quit Cycling 🚴‍♀ and Wine_ 🍷😀😀

*Why Do Men Get Naughty At 50?*

Men are like open soda bottles at age 50. Before the fizz runs out they take that last leap.

*Age is a natural born killer.* You realize this in-depth with every passing second. Men sober down when they reach 40. However, as they near 50 they exhibit mischievous teen-like symptoms. Perhaps it's got to do with the fact that the prime of their youth is fading and it's the last plunge to relive the past, and in the process never feel old. At age 50 men love that occasional glance they get from younger women, it's enough to convince them about the flame of youth being alive and kicking. The raging hormones that make a quiet disappearance in a man's life make a loud comeback at 50. Boy! The bull is ready to run again!

It doesn't come as a surprise why women keep a close eye on their men when they reach 50. In a man's mind 50 is a gateway to a new phase in life, something completely new, unexplored, and exciting. For married men and bachelors, life at 50 is a newfound high, a thrill seeking adventure that fizzles out as time goes by. However, until that adventure lasts, a wife/girlfriend can have sleepless nights.

At age 50 men gang up with past friends from school and college. The highest number of reunions a man attends is in his 50s, and yes, that college sweetheart or college crush is around to tell a story. At 50 a man seems to find time for everything, just like in his hey days.

So cheers guys....

A couple had 7 children. Someone asked them how different was it to raise the first child from the last child. 

The couple replied, "If the first child as much as even hiccuped, we would call an ambulance. By the time we had the seventh, if a child swallowed a coin, it would be deducted from his pocket money."

😅😅😅🤔🤔😂😂😂

This one made a lot of sense to me...

New York is 3 hours ahead of California but it does not mean that California is slow, or that New York is fast. Both are  working based on their own "Time Zone."

Some one is still single. Someone got married and 'waited' 10 years before having a child. There is another who had a baby within a year of marriage.

Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately !

Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years. 

Everyone works based on their 'Time Zone',

People can have things worked out only according to their pace.

Work in your "time zone".

Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might "seem" to go ahead of you.

May be some might "seem" behind you.

Everyone is in this world running their own race on their own lane in their own time. God has a different plan for everybody.Time is the difference. Obama retires at 55, Trump resumes at 70

Don't envy them or mock them, it's their 'Time Zone.' 

You are in yours!

Hold on, be strong, and stay true to yourself. All things shall work together for your good. 

You're not late … You are not early ... you're very much On time!😊👍stay blessed.

You Are In Your Time Zone...

Sometimes I feel I want to go back in time... 

Not to change things, but to feel a couple of things twice

Sometimes I wish I was a baby for a while... 

Not to be walked in the pram but to see my mother's smile

Some times I wish I could go back to school... 

Not to become a child but to learn how to be cool

Sometimes I wish I could be back in college... 

Not to be a rebel but to understand what I study

Sometimes I wish I was a fresher at my work... 

Not to do less work but to recall the joy of the first pay cheque

Sometimes I wish I could marry again all over... 

Not to change the partner but to understand the ceremony better

Sometimes I wish my kids were younger.... 

Not because they grew fast but to play with them a bit more

Sometimes I feel I still had some more time to live... 

Not to have a longer life but to know what I could give

Since the times that are gone can never come back, let's enjoy the moments as we live them from now on....

Let's celebrate our everyday lives . . . Everyday, every minute, every second.

A beautiful life is just an imagination, 

but real life is more beautiful than imagination.

So, enjoy each and every moment of your life.

Sometimes I feel I want to go back in time... 

Not to change things, but to feel a couple of things twice

Sometimes I wish I was a baby for a while... 

Not to be walked in the pram but to see my mother's smile

Some times I wish I could go back to school... 

Not to become a child but to learn how to be cool

Sometimes I wish I could be back in college... 

Not to be a rebel but to understand what I study

Sometimes I wish I was a fresher at my work... 

Not to do less work but to recall the joy of the first pay cheque

Sometimes I wish I could marry again all over... 

Not to change the partner but to understand the ceremony better

Sometimes I wish my kids were younger.... 

Not because they grew fast but to play with them a bit more

Sometimes I feel I still had some more time to live... 

Not to have a longer life but to know what I could give

Since the times that are gone can never come back, let's enjoy the moments as we live them from now on....

Let's celebrate our everyday lives . . . Everyday, every minute, every second.

One who loves till you close your eyes, is a *Mother*.

One who loves without an expression in the eyes, is a *Father*.

____________________________

*Mother* - Introduces you to the world.

*Father* - Introduces the world to you.

___________________________

*Mother* : Gives you life

*Father*   : Gives you living

__________________________

*Mother* : Makes sure you are not starving.

*Father*  : Makes sure you know the value of starving

__________________________

*Mother* : Personifies Care

*Father*: Personifies Responsibility

__________________________

*Mother* : Protects you from a fall

*Father* : Teaches you to get up from a fall.

__________________________

*Mother* : Teaches you walking.

*Father* : Teaches you walk of life

__________________________

*Mother* : Teaches from her own experiences.

*Father* : Teaches you to learn from your own experiences.

__________________________

*Mother* :  Reflects Ideology

*Father* :  Reflects Reality

___________________________

*Mother's* love is known to you since birth.

*Father's* love is known when you become a Father.

___________________________

Enjoy what your father says.

Keep loving your mother.

___________________________

FOR PEOPLE WITH A LITERARY SENSE OF HUMOUR...

"Lexophile" is a term used to describe those who are clever with words, such as "you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish", or, "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in Dubuque, Iowa. 

The year's winning submissions:

... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

... The batteries were given out free of charge.

... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

... A will is a dead giveaway.

... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

... Police were called to the daycare centre, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

...Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

... He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.

... When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

... Acupuncture is a job well done. That's the point of it.

😄😀

Blue films  are the most Positive Movies....

No Murder, No War, No Fight, No conspiracy, No Cheating...  !!

Lots of Love & always a very Happy Ending for all Characters!! 

Lots of religious reference "oh god, oh my god, oh my god"

No milna bichharrna, No rona dhona!! 

Good co-operation, Good co-ordination, No dramebazi, natural acting, No language problem...

AND the Best part.... 

jahan se dekho vahin se story samajh aa jati hai... 😝😝😝😝😝

Coincidence

Man In Bar Orders Kingfisher Beer.. 

Lady Next To Him-

What A Co-incidence, Even I Have Ordered Kingfisher..🍺

Man - I'm Celebrating.

Lady - Me too.

Man - What A Coincidence.

Why are you Celebrating?

Lady - My Husband & I Have Tried 4 Years For A Baby..

Today I'm Pregnant.

Man - What A Coincidence!

I Am A Farmer

For 4 Yrs My Hens couldn't lay any eggs

Today All are Laying Eggs

Lady - Wow! How Did That Happen?

Man - I Used A Different Cock 🐓

Lady Smiled & Said

WHAT A COINCIDENCE !!!

Midlife

"I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

I'm not screwing around. It's time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you've developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armour is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armour could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you're still searching and you're more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can't live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It's time to show up and be seen.''.. something to ponder on ..

Fantastic technology

CNN  took a gigapixel photo during the Trump inauguration. Try panning and zooming into the image. You can literally see every person in the crowd. 

http://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2017/01/politics/trump-inauguration-gigapixel/

Startup

http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/how-the-rockefeller-familys-vc-firm-picks-tech-startups/,

Asses

http://www.ba-bamail.com/content.aspx?emailid=24472&memberid=1067549&source=whatsapp

One Life will never come Again. .. .Live Today. . .

Old man has 8 hair on his head.

He went to Barber shop.

    

Barber in anger asked:

shall i cut or count ?

Old man smiled and said:

"Colour it!" 

LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling

If you feel STRESSED,

Give yourself A Break.

Enjoy Some..

Icecream

Choclates

Candy

Cake

Why?

B'Coz

STRESSED backwards spelling

is DESSERTS ...enjoy

Alphabetic advice for you:

A B C

Avoid Boring Company..

D E F

Don't Entertain Fools..

G H I

Go for High Ideas .

J K L M

Just Keep a friend like ME..

N O P

Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..

Q R S

Quit Reacting to Silly tales.. 

T U V

Tune Urself for ur Victory..

W X Y Z

We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

Very ....beautiful lines pls store it.

ONE Good FRIEND is equal to ONE  Good Medicine. . .

Likewise ONE Good Group is equal to ONE Full medical store...👌🙏👍

☺😊😉😄😴

Six Best Doctors 👷in the World-

          1.Sunlight☀

              2.Rest😴

          3.Exercise🚵🏊

             4.Diet🍵🍯🍊🍑

   5.Self Confidence😇

                   &

          6.Friends👭👬

Maintain them in all stages of Life and enjoy🎊 healthy life

If   you   see   the   moon ..... You   see    the    beauty    of    God .....   

If    you   see    the   Sun ..... You   see    the    power   of    God .....   And ....    

If   you   see   the   Mirror. You   see     the    best    Creation of   GOD .

So    Believe   in    YOURSELF. We all are tourists & God is our travel agent who  has already fixed all our Routes Reservations & Destinations

So!

Trust him & Enjoy the "Trip" called LIFE...

Our aim in life should be

9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

🔹9-glass drinking water. 

🔹8-hrs sound sleep. 

🔹7-wonders tour with family.

🔹6-days work a week.

🔹5-digit income 

🔹4-wheeler.

🔹3-bedroom flat or house

🔹2-cute children. 

🔹1-sweetheart. 

🔹0-tension!

Employees

During annual executive health check up in a company, two employees were found to have normal blood pressure and blood sugar. *Both were terminated for not working hard enough*. 😝😜😜