In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Doctor: "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;

(a) a  teaspoon 

(b) a glass 

(c) a bucket

and ask them to empty the bathtub."

Journalist: "Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger."

Doctor: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39. 

We will start further investigations on you too!"

........................................

😀😀 You also thought of the bucket, didn't you? Please go to bed No. 40.

The hospital has a few more rooms available. 

Please forward this so that we can check if you have friends or relatives who need a 'mental' check up.

This is a friendly reminder about drinking and driving during the New Year season.

One of my friends went out last night and after drinking he made a sensible decision to leave his car at the pub and took the bus home. He was really proud of himself this morning..!!

He had never driven a bus before!! 😂😂😂

Winner of the Chicago Tribune's best Tweet of the week... 

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... but apparently it just changes the color of the baby !!!"

Superb Story. 

A little boy went to his old grandpa and asked, "What's the value of life?"

The grandpa gave him one stone and said, "Find out the value of this stone, but don't sell it."

The boy took the stone to an Orange Seller and asked him what its cost would be.

The Orange Seller saw the shiny stone and said, "You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone."

The boy apologized and said that the grandpa has asked him not to sell it.

He went ahead and found a vegetable seller.

"What could be the value of this stone?" he asked the vegetable seller.

The seller saw the shiny stone and said, "Take one sack of potatoes and give me the stone."

The boy again apologized and said he can't sell it.

Further ahead, he went into a jewellery shop and asked the value of the stone.

The jeweler saw the stone under a lens and said, "I'll give you 1 million for this stone." 

When the boy shook his head, the jeweler said, "Alright, alright, take 2 24karat gold necklaces, but give me the stone."

The boy explained that he can't sell the stone.

Further ahead, the boy saw a precious stone's shop and asked the seller the value of this stone.

When the precious stone's seller saw the big ruby, he lay down a red cloth and put the ruby on it.

Then he walked in circles around the ruby and bent down and touched his head in front of the ruby. "From where did you bring this priceless ruby from?" he asked.

"Even if I sell the whole world, and my life, I won't

be able to purchase this priceless stone."

Stunned and confused, the boy returned to the grandpa and told him what had happened. 

"Now tell me what is the value of life, grandpa?"

Grandpa said, 

"The answers you got from the Orange Seller, the Vegetable Seller, the Jeweler & the Precious Stone's Seller explain the value of our life...

You may be a precious stone, even priceless, but, people will value you based on their status, their charecter, their level of information, their belief in you, their motive behind entertaining you, their ambition, and their risk taking ability. 

But don't fear, you will surely find someone who will discern your true value."

Respect yourself.

Don't sell yourself cheap.

You are Unique.

No one can Replace you.

Value the value...

Good Life 💐💐💐

I hate people who can't hold their drinks!! Last night my friends dropped me 4 times while carrying me home 😜😜

"There are all kinds of futures. There is a hoped-for future, there is a feared future, there is a predictable future, and there is an unimagined future."-werner.

Life is great if lived as a  discovery- moment by moment - than  living it from our domain of knowledge and past experience. 

See,listen to ,feel and experience - things and relationships with people ,from now, in a way that you have never ever interacted  before - the sheer power of discovery !

Consider trying it and experience  the miracle of living life !

Time has no holiday.. Dreams have no expiry date.. And life has no pause button...! 

Live it..  Love it.. 

Enjoy each and every moment of your life....!! 

Save only those memories which gives twinkle in your eyes... Not wrinkles on your face...!! 

Freedom in Not Being Attached

The roots of attachment run deep, and it's all about survival. As young ones, we need to attach to the people around us to get our needs met. Then we get attached to love, success, attention from others, material objects, security. We're held hostage by these needs.

Being attached is bound to cause suffering. Because no matter how hard we try, all forms are created with an expiration date. All forms are temporary, and they will go. And to state the obvious, no one has made it out of here alive.

We start by being attached to survival, to those who make our survival possible, and it continues from there. We experience a great comfort with the known and the familiar and begin to fear letting go into what we cannot know or control.

Investigating our attachments opens the path to a life that is authentic and real. If we bring our fears out of the shadows with a willingness to befriend them, if we contemplate the dissolution of everything we know, the heart can't help but sing a song of gratitude. Everything could go, but reality remains – this moment – fresh, alive, and overflowing.

-Gail Brenner

LAWS THAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN AT SCHOOL 

1) Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

2) Anthony's Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3) Kovac's Conundrum:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

4) Cannon's Karmic Law:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, and the very next morning you will get a flat tyre.

5) O'brien's Variation Law:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6) BELL'S THEOREM:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7) RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8) WILLOUGHBY'S LAW:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9) ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10) BREDA'S RULE:

At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

11) OWEN'S LAW:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Thanks

😃Thanks to those who hated me, they made me a stronger person.

😃Thanks to those who loved me, they made my heart bigger.

😃Thanks to those who were worried about me, they let me know that they actually cared.

😃Thanks to those who left me, they made me realize that nothing lasts forever.

😃Thanks to those who entered my life, they made me who i'm today.

Just want to Thank you all for being there in my life!! 😄

I just discovered my age group!  I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) 

 

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later. 

 

I don't have to go to school. 

 

I get an allowance every month. 

 

I have my own pad. 

 

I don't have a curfew. 

 

I have a driver's license and my own car. 

 

I have ID that gets me into everywhere. 

 

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren't scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long, why be scared? 

 

And I don't have acne. 

 

Life is Good!  Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.

Exercising, avoiding alcohol and  cutting down on non-veg food will certainly add some years to your life. 

But remember, it is your old age that will get extended, not the youth..

Truly inspiring :

In life I have forgotten how many times I have fallen. 

How many times I have hurt myself. 

The entire world laughed at me.

But I never gave up. 

I have always picked myself up, dusted myself and walked upto the waiter and said,

"Another large please !"

😜

Meaning of a " true friend "

This year, like me, a lot of my school,college and university mates turned 50 the half way mark in their lives n in a way hoping they live reasonably long life i wished them " happy half century ".it also set me thinking.. who out of all these people that I met along the way would remain alongside... n would define the true meaning of friendship...

The age old saying "a friend in need is a friend in deed" does it define? or is it when we categorize people just as the" tree test" i read somewhere on this group? Is it the person who is at your bedside when you are extremely sick or is it the person who offers help when you are going through a rough patch..

In my search for an answer to my dilemma.. i thought of moments or occassions when true friendship could be  defined.. when you travel with a person? when any matter relating to money comes up between you two,when a person appears on a happy occasion or a sad one, whether he is a person who mingles with your family or the one who does not etc. the list goes on..n some answers started cropping up in my mind which i would like to share with you all

A friend is not a person who is at your bedside when you are ill...but a person who senses that you are going to fall ill and prevents it.

A friend is not a person who will offer you money when you are broke but will sense that you are n will put money where you can find it without telling you.

A friend is a person who will not try to look for beauty in your face or body but that in your soul(heart and mind)

A friend is not a person who will get you a job when you are without one but a person who will find you a career 

Again the list goes on...and through this in the end i found one definition which may be true and sums up it all

A friend doesn't care for what you are,who you are,why you are,where you are, when you are, whether you are but a person who accepts you " just the way you are"

Means " never puts you through judgement "

But the irony is to find such a person one still needs to judge the other...

Julie Andrews Turning  79 - this is hysterical!   

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.  One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'.  Here are the lyrics she used: 

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting, 

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, 

Bundles of magazines tied up in string, 

  These are a few of my favorite things. 

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, 

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, 

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, 

  These are a few of my favorite things. 

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, 

When the knees go bad, 

I simply remember my favorite things, 

     And then I don't feel so bad. 

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, 

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, 

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, 

    These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin', 

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',   

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, 

  When we remember our favorite things. 

When the joints ache, When the hips break, 

     When the eyes grow dim, 

Then I remember the great life I've had, 

      And then I don't feel so bad. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>> > >>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>

(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd 

that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please 

share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humor with others who 

would appreciate it.)